A Tale of the Awkward Christmas Gift

Christmas is a wonderful time to celebrate the thoughtfulness of getting, and giving gifts. Let’s not pretend Christmas isn’t about gifts, and just realize that opening presents is part of what makes Christmas well, the best.  However, with every positive there is usually a negative, and in this case it is the threat of receiving an awkward gift.

Yes, awkward. Not just bad, but awkward. If you are still confused by what I am getting at let me explain with the perfect story…

One chilly Christmas Eve my family, and I were all snuggled up, and warm at a relative’s house to celebrate the holiday. Everything was going well– good company, splendid food, and the anticipation of Christmas morning in a few hours.

After we ate it was time to open gifts, like past years, the younger kids went crazy ripping through their presents barely coming up for air. As I sat patiently waiting to receive, I was handed a gift by an Aunt. She told me to wait before opening it so that everyone could see.

Oh great, I thought. It must be a good one, I thought. Once the wrapping mayhem quieted down, and the adults gather around the table, it was time for me to open the gift I was so eagerly awaiting.

With a smiling face, I pulled out the tissue paper, and peered into the gift bag. After seeing what lied beneath, I knew what needed to be done despite wanting to jump into a nearby ditch.

Below the tissue paper, sat two perky bejeweled bra cups. I thought to myself, “What the hell” but instead said “Oh wow.” I put my acting skills to good use, and somehow pulled off a grateful but weirded out reaction to this gift.

“Show us,” the crowd of relatives exclaimed! So I did, I pulled out a baby pink peignoir set, the bra flowed into a sheer bodice and attached was a matching thong.

Sitting beside me was my Grandfather who caught a glimpse of the back, and shared the same reaction I had in my head. He said “ Jesus!” and shielded his eyes most likely to avoid the thought of me in it, if only I could do the same.

The Aunt who gave it to me was thrilled, and expected me to wear it at school in my dorm room. Then things started to make sense, she naively thought it was like the 50’s style nightgown, like they show in the movie ‘Grease’. It did resemble something like that, just a tad more slutty.

So there you have it, an awkward gift. These types of gifts require so much more effort than just faking that you love something you actually don’t. They have a sort of haunting effect, especially because I was then asked on New Years if I had tried the awkward gift on.

These gifts are something of a Nightmare before Christmas– see what I did there?


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